When to speak and when to write

When to speak and when to write? If you face some kind of difficult relationship with someone, and you do not find a suitable “climate” for frank dialogue, free from the influence of others or even the possibility of aggression (physical or moral), you are likely to find in this text, a way of perhaps solving the problem.

It is common to have difficult relationships that are part of our daily lives; can be at work, with a neighbor or even at home. There are people with many kinds of nature. Some are extroverted, others reserved; there are those that are transparent, while others make a point of being mysterious; there are also emotional and rational ones; I could speak of various other kinds of human nature indefinitely. But the purpose here is to show that, because of this infinity of natures, sometimes “true storms in water glasses” occur!

Write or speak

There are situations where we simply say what we think about some circumstance for a problem to disappear. Other situations involve more subjective issues, and this makes it difficult to find a solution.

Talking about subjective issues demands objective answers and very good will from both parties so that, in the end, the natural differences of the world of subjectivity are adjusted.

It is at this moment that I consider that writing can help solving and even avoiding problems. One often hears the repetition of the proverb “it’s talking you understand”. But there are real wars that begin with conversations. If there is not a predisposition to find a common point among divergent opinions, it is no use talking.

On the other hand, with writing we can transcend the tense atmosphere of the physical presence (of an opponent or a friend who thinks differently from us) to expose our thinking clearly and completely.

But it is fundamental that in writing each thought be exposed as objectively as possible. It is wise not to use “indirect”, however subtle. While writing, look for the quiet person in front of you, listening to every word you write.

The only purpose of this communication is to produce a text that can really eliminate doubts, showing goodwill, accessibility and predisposition to overcome misunderstandings.

Beware of written discussions!

If your purpose in writing the letter, ticket or text is not solely to find a solution to the problem, do not write! Disharmonious texts can increase the scale of the problem and even open legal processes.

Texts sent by email can become public in an instant, due to the virtuality. Therefore, it is always preferable to deliver the already printed text, because this shows more personal commitment. In some cases, it is not recommended to hand over the text. It can be left on a table, a bed or in a personal place. Ultimately, ask someone else to hand it over.

So again, the suggestion given here is that you only write to someone you are facing relationship difficulties with only if you are sure you want to solve the problem – not increase it.

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